What do you want to be when you grow up?

[Katy Resop]

We've been asked that question since we were in kindergarten. And in kindergarten, many of us probably answered with stereotypical responses: police officer, teacher, firefighter, doctor, etc. We had really concrete ideas about what "grown ups" were like. We knew who grown ups were by the way they interacted with us in our daily lives.

I guess my question is how has that thought process changed and how has it NOT changed? What influences "who" or "what" we want to be... and how is who we ARE different from what we DO? Are the two separate? What did you want to "be" when you grew up when you were 5? What do you want to BE now? Is your focus still on what you will DO with your life, or is the question more abstract now that you're "grown up"?

Oh, and just for fun... what DID you want to be when you were 5 and what do you want to be NOW? I wanted to be a pilot and an archaeologist. Now I'm completely unsure... I don't know my specific occupation, but I know that I want to "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God" (Micah 6:8). See, it's more abstract and complicated. Any other thoughts?

[Erin]

I think about this all the time, despite the fact that I'm 'grown up', working now. I think that's a hard kind of question, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' I think it's an answer that in some form is always changing. What I want to be when I grow up seems to change on a regular basis. Similar to you, I want to make a difference in some fashion in this world. How? well that's something I'm still figuring out. Right now, I'm in youth ministry and I love my job! but there are times when it's hard, I work a lot of weekends, and times when my friends aren't working. I know I'm making a difference, and I know I'm doing something God wants me to do, but there are days when because of my hours, I wonder, is there another way to do his work? Other times I think to myself, am I the role model and the leader these kids need? It's hard to be that person they need all the time.

How do I walk the line of the what I do and and who I am? How do I make sure that who I am, is the person I need to be for what I do? I think you've found what you're meant to do, when 'who you are' and 'what you do' are the same. That's a hard thing to find, I may never find that perfect fit. I'm always changing, and what I want to do is always changing, finding just one thing, and saying THIS is what I want to do for the rest of my life seems so difficult. I will likely say that about many things throughout my life as what's important to me changes. Because what's important to me is what I want to do.

OH, and growing up I wanted to be (and still would LOVE to be) a Major League Baseball player!! (and for a while I was planning on being a surgeon - but then I decided I didn't want to go to school for nearly that long).

[April Martin]

Well, I have always wanted to help people. When I was 5 I probably wanted to be a teacher. (At this moment, I am an Instructor for the American Red Cross). But what I really want to do, is travel around the US and "Serve America". I am particularly interested in young people, still. I was a youth director for 2 years at a Presbyterian Church in Warner Robins, GA and loved it. I needed to focus more on school and my personal life, so I left that job. I have always had a passion for young people, parrticularly Middle and High School aged, but not limited to them. I'm also trying to figure out more of a specific focus, but have already started plans to find a group of people to get in an RV and travel across parts of America and do SOMETHING!!!! What, I'm not sure yet.

You are not alone. Good Luck on your continuing journey.

[Jenna]

I ran the gamut...from really expected responses (a singer, a ballerina, a teacher) to the unexpected (a marine biologist, an FBI forensics expert). I think that when I thought about being a grown up, it was colored a lot by my notion that my parents WERE their jobs. My dad always worked a lot, and so now as I look back at his life I can only see his job and his motorcycle. And really, the motorcycle was seasonal. So I think it's fair to say that who I am and what I would do with my life were always intermixed. I think it's also fair to say that whatever I picked was what I was passionate about at that particular stage of my life, but had a characteristic lack of forethought. I was a kid after all.

I actually found my path on accident. I had broken up with my first serious boyfriend my freshman year of college and detested my roommate. She was just insensitive, rude, and occasionally purposefully in people's way. And she was applying to be an RA. I thought to myself that if she could be an RA, that I definitely could. At this point in my life, I was really depressed and wasn't thinking about helping others. I applied mostly out of spite, to be honest. Though I'd been a peer counselor before, that had very little effect on my decision to apply. I was thinking about transferring schools or dropping out. And I said to God, "Listen, if I get this RA job then you want me to stay here. If not, I'm going home. I'll take it as your sign." And I got it. And it not only helped me out of my depression, but I got the good feelings from helping others again. This is where God introduced me to the man I plan on marrying. The job taught me a lot about who I am and what that means. If I hadn't gotten the job, I wouldn't be who I am today in the slightest. Because of that experience, I now I want to be involved in residence halls and campus ministry. It's enriched my life. It makes me feel good about myself. And it's fulfilling because it allows me to help others through a really trying and formative period in their lives - even when it's hard and I'm not happy, it's still fulfilling.

Ultimately, I think my focus is more on a helping profession than on the specific field. So I suppose it's abstract. If God directs me elsewhere, he'll put me there whether its what I originally intended or not.

[Ray J Gentry IV]

I never want to grow up. But eventually I do want to be a pastor.

[Erin Daubert]

Hahaha. I always wanted to be a veterinarian. Until I realized I sometimes faint at excessive blood. Probably not what I'm called to do. Then I wanted to be a teacher. I spent hours playing "teacher" with my little brother. The things I put that poor boy through...

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because, after moving to Brazil, people have been constantly asking me why I moved here and what I'm hoping to do with my experience here. I honestly have no answer. I don't know if I want to stay here for the rest of my life, return to the United States, or move somewhere else around the world. I do know, though, that this is okay. I'm grown up now and this is what I'm doing. I'm living in Brazil making connections, studying, and following my passions to learn about global migration and immigration in Sao Paulo. When I move back to the states, I'll be doing something different. I'll be working at a nursing home again. I'll be living in the middle of nowhere Iowa and finishing up college. I'll be a friend, a family member, a campus leader, a cafeteria worker. After college, I'll be somewhere else, doing something else.

I don't know what I want to be when I "grow up," but I keep reminding myself that I'm "grown up" now and what I'm doing this year doesn't have to be what I'm doing next year. That's the joys of following my call. This year I'm making connections here in Brazil, sharing my experiences as an American with others around the world as they do the same with me. I'm learning about immigration and learning a new language. I'm studying politics in a country that has a different political view from my own.

What I'm doing is a part of who I am. This has changed a lot from when I was little. When I was younger, I saw my "job" and my "life" as something completely separate. I saw what I wanted to do as simply a certain part of my life, separate from the rest of my life. Now, I'm realizing that what I want to do encompasses so much more than just where I want to work. What I want to do when I'm "grown up" includes who I want to be. I want to be a good person who has fun. I good friend with an open ear. Someone who puts others first but still saves a little time for myself. Someone who can look back on my life and know someone was changed for the better by me. Someone who heard God's call and followed whatever it was, regardless of whether or not it followed my original "grown-up" plans.

I guess I'm kind of rambling right now. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just trying to sort out for myself that what I want to be when I "grow up" means that I'm following my call here and now. I spent so long worrying about my future that I've almost forgot to consider myself grown-up enough to follow God's call and do SOMETHING.